Hello everyone! Happy New Year! I hope everyone is having a good start to the year! So it’s been a while since I wrote a blog post. I took a couple of days away from my computer and had minimal social activities. I needed some time off from the internet (and I wasn’t feeling too well either)! Anyway today’s post is going to a little different. It’s a random brain dump of 2015 and a bit of an emotional one, haha maybe not? I’ll see how it goes as I write this. I wrote in my recent instagram post that I am not a very expressive person. This makes me sound like a really sad person haha. I actually laugh A LOT, loves to mess and joke around, and I do talk a lot too (apparently). I’m just not expressive in a way that if someone asked me “How are you? How’s your weekend?” I go like “Yeah I had a good one, spent time with some friends.” I never go into deep details. It’s always a little vague. I’m also not expressive in a way that I am someone who likes to get to the point so when it comes to me telling a story. There is a beginning, a very concise content and an ending. So yeah that’s the reason why I rather not tell what happens in my daily life, well that’s because my life is boring!
A lot of people assume that bloggers have an amazing easy life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that my life is crappy being a blogger because I wouldn’t be one if it is. I do love doing what I’m doing but I spend 80%-90% my time behind my massive alienware laptop. That lucky piece of technology! Damn you technology, my boyfriend only get 5% of my time. Working on campaigns with brands, replying email chains, writing a blog post, editing videos and photos is extremely time consuming, and I even find myself working 6-7 days a week. Editing a video takes me a full day, like 15 hours. I want to make sure it is concise, and I’m also learning new tricks and editing methods. By the time I finished editing a video I feel like I’ve become a 80 year old lady with a sore back! haha. Some bloggers may have assistance for that because these are massive bloggers or they’ve been doing it for so long that they’re pros! Publishing weekly YouTube videos is quite a commitment, especially for me who’s still new and learning about editing. Anyway I got a bit off topic there. Going back to expressing myself. Even if i have a very exciting day or projects, I can’t seem to get it all out. I have a problem expressing myself since I was little and I have definitely gotten better since I started blogging. I was extremely shy, an introvert and I loved spending time by myself. So one of this year’s goal is to be able to change that!
So 2015 has been an interesting year for me. I had loads of issues with my personal life (ie. family and bf issues) which really took a toll on me mentally. I spent loads of time with my beloved tissue box and I am not even a very emotional person to begin with. I usually go to the gym to work it all that negative energy off and I always feels so much better after. My bf of 10 years and I hit a really rough patch in our relationship. It was not great at all. My boyfriend’s a very private person which is why I don’t talk much about him on my blog. It was not a easy breezy life throughout the year because of that and I kept alot of these issues inside. Things are a lot better and we’re a lot happy now given some changes on both ends. I have to keep reminding myself that I am so lucky and grateful to have the people I have in my life and to be where I am today. I’m extremely grateful with what I have and also to everyone who watches my videos, blog, social medias, and etc. But when bad things happen, it is so hard to stay positive. I can only keep trying but I’m now quite a positive person so don’t worry about that.
There are also some complications when it comes to my blog and all those monetary benefits that comes with blogging. That was basically the insult to the injury last year. As some of you guys know, bloggers do get paid for their blog posts or instagram posts. After I quit my job late 2014, I was definitely more involved in monetising my blog. I took up more paid work, because I gotta pay my damn bills and mortgage. Making money out of blogging was never intentional for me but it turned out that way last year. I took up a few campaigns that I regretted because when I take money, they are also requirements for me to fulfill. Sometimes a third party handles it and I have no control over it. I honestly love the stuff they gifted me, but I just never ever like doing a hard sell and promoting an item or what not. I bloody hate doing that and avoid it as much as possible! I am all about sharing things I like, and if you guys like it then I’m glad that you find something you like too. So I don’t need to go more lengthy, this article here explains very well the reality of social media as a career. Although it’s YouTube centric, it’s pretty similar to any digital influencer. So with financial problems like this, together with controlling 3rd parties agencies who don’t have your interest at heart and bully their way into getting what they want, it really puts me off blogging and there were times I didn’t want to do it anymore. Anyway that’s the negative side of last year. Moving on in 2016, I’m going to change my focus and keep my work positive and happy and stop working with assholes.
The best part of 2015 is that I got to meet lots of new people. This blogging thing has given me a chance to meet loads of new and inspiring people all around the world. It is really refreshing. Starting with my most recent trip to Singapore, the DFW and Jrunway guys were a blast to work with. I got to meet other influencers as well such as Michelle Hendra, Brian See, Camille Co and etc. They are such lovely guys and I honestly can’t wait to go to Malaysia to meet up to see Brian and other bloggers again. Michelle is such a sweetie, I love this girl! Also Oscar and Lin who are two awesome passionate people I got the pleasure to meet, and they’ll be in my Singapore vlog which is coming up this week! Going further back to my recent Philippines trip with GAOC Dental. I got to meet Dr Steve Mark Gan, who is an absolutely inspiring person. He is so down to earth given his success in the Philippines. Honestly one of the most amazing people I’ve met this year. Brian Lam who took care of us throughout the trip is such a nice fella too. Definitely need to catch up with him again (He’s in my Philippines vlog if you’re interested in knowing who he is. He’s going to hate me for that!). Going further back I’ve met tons of other people in Aussie and abroad which I won’t mention or this will be too long of a post, but basically I really appreciate knowing new people, especially ones I can relate to so easily and appreciate these new friendships!
Another positive of 2015 is I felt I’ve overcome my anxiety issues. Back in 2014 when I quit my job, I had anxiety issues. I couldn’t enter crowded trains, lifts or confined places like airplanes because I would just break into cold sweat and freak out. The worst part about this problem is that not a lot of people understand it and shrug it off as nothing and over exaggeration. One of the most hurtful things was my bosses who are meant to be all professional downplaying my condition and thinking that I wasn’t serious about working. I was great at what I do, and got undermined and bullied at work, which is what my doctor said was the cause of my anxiety to begin with. I’m glad I got out of that crappy work environment and have somewhat overcame these anxiety issues in 2015.
Other positive side is I have become so much confident with myself after hitting up the gym and I’m so much healthier! I was stick skinny at 38kg in mid 2014 and I made myself go to gym and eat only good healthy food. I feel so good about myself. I’m less tired and I feel like all the kale i’m eating is paying off. I would say that I have a really good diet with sufficient vitamins, carbs, proteins and etc. All the exercises I’m doing is giving me some shape. Well I have to really feed myself to maintain my new weight and I’ve just lost 2 kilos because i’m really under the weather and I haven’t been to the gym. I go to the gym 2 or 3 times a week. I eat 4 times a day at least and my portions are quite large. It is so expensive to feed myself. I eat more than my boyfriend in general and he can really eat. I gained a bit of fats on my stomach area, but nothing major. It is just nice to be able to transform myself from unhealthy skinny to not so skinny anymore! I used to only wear baggy clothes because I was all skin and bone. I am not a fan of that skinny look honestly so I decided to change it up. I was really motivated throughout the year to hit the gym and that motivation is still here! I’m going to hit the gym soon. I know that it can be quite difficult if you are not used to exercising but if you can imagine what you can achieve by being diligent and motivated, you will be so happy and impressed with yourself. You will be so confident and it will change you! Trust me, haha.
Being able to travel to other countries is always one of the highlights. I love to explore different places, countries, food and lifestyle. I hope i’ll be able to visit more places this year too! I think I’ll end the post here because I’m sure most of you guys are not used to me writing so much. I hope you enjoyed this and leave me a comment down below or on my social medias! I do read all my comments.